Officially insane.

***There is a slight disclaimer to this post: I'm super cranky, and there's a lot of venting, and my language isn't the most eloquent, so proceed with caution. ***

So I still do no have internet at my apartment. It's now Tuesday of the second week here, and it was supposed to "take a couple days". When we asked about it yesterday no one had even called. I'm really sort of pissed off about it. But I feel like I have the right to be. We've been so ridiculously flexible about everything else that has changed with our situation, and I don't want to have to sit in my office with 20 other teachers who are all watching what I do, and attempt to talk to anyone from home. I'm in my office right now, and about 4 teachers are napping so I won't call home. I think my typing is loud enough, but hey, they keep telling me to just use the office to catch up. It sucks a lot though too because my free time is mostly during the afternoon and I don't really catch too many people awake at the wee hours of the morning in the states, and usually when I do, they don't really remember talking to me anyways. I would like the chance to have some privacy and be able to talk to my parents and friends when I want to. I also would just like to go online and maybe look up some recipes because Laura and I are trying to cook for ourselves, but we don't really know easy chinese dishes, and we don't know where there is a restaurant we could go to instead. Plus, we can't order food anyways, so I guess we'll just keep experimenting so we don't starve. I know I'm going to extremes here, I just can't get my frustrations out any other way. And I don't want to complain to Laura all the time because she is the only other English speaker and she has her own trouble and frustrations, and we need to stay in each others' good graces! I'm so grateful she's with me here in Siyang. I wouldn't be surviving at all if I was alone. A few things that keep me sane are listening to music, and reading, and trying to learn more guitar. I'm running out of books though, so that sucks, but maybe that means my guitar skills will be amazing by the time I come home.

Last weekend Laura and I already bailed out and went back to Nanjing to visit our friends, and go out (our town doesn't even have one bar). It was super fun, but a bit expensive. And the bus ride was 4 hours both ways. The way there was alright, I sat with Laura. But on the way back some Chinese man sat with me and was totally all up in my personal bubble. And everything I did he full out turned and watched me. Watched me put my iPod headphones in, text people, and when I was reading he leaned over and tried to read my book! He also took my cell phone and called his with it. His ringtone was "Yeah" by Usher. Hilarious...but creepy because he called me twice yesterday. Mind you he didn't speak one word of english. So I put him on my blocked calls list. Weirdo. Just one of the many things I will never get used to, nor do I want to.

We ventured out to the giant Suguo (supermarket) yesterday, and while the trip was a success, we were followed around the store. People here just stare at us. We don't even do weird things. Laura said she wants to walk around naked. At least then there would be a reason for people to look at her like she was a circus freak. I'm starting to agree. The students at school are all really great. They seem excited to learn from native english speakers, but beyond that, nothing about the attention we receive is endearing. It really just pushes my buttons, and adding that to not being able to talk to home and such, and I'm just losing my mind. Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, all will be resolved very soon, and my posts will be less of my emotional turmoil and more of my actual experiences and life here in China...until then, I'll try and keep my head above water, and I'll try to want to keep it above water too.